Lost moments.

My heart throbbed with joy as he stood before me and as I excitedly walked towards him, my thoughts became lost in the loving memories that we shared. But as I drew near for the hug … to reach out and touch him once again, I was awakened by the reality that my grandfather was only in my dream and no longer here with me. ” I want you to come and see me, I have something to tell you.” These were his last words and requested to me, but the vastness of a sea stood between him and me. And before I could get a chance to overcome this vastness that stood between us, my grandfather was taken from me without any advance notice. Oftentimes when we meet in my dreams, I attempted to ask him the question that had haunted me since that last conversation; ” what did you so urgently want to tell me.” But my words were never strong enough to break through the palpable wall of silence that these dreams erected between us. The last moment that we spend with a loved one can sometimes overshadow all the other moments in the archive of our memories. And sometimes the selfishness of youthfulness cheats us out of precious moments with those who we love because in our youth we tend to spend more time enjoying the replaceable things in life than we do enjoy our irreplaceable love ones. We wait for special days to celebrate and enjoy what our loved ones mean to us, days that are promised to neither them nor us; but in between these special days are vacuums of lost and uncreated moments that we too often never get to enjoy with them. Alice Walker once wrote, ” I believe that people exist to be enjoyed … as if they were the human equivalent of melons, mangoes, or any other kind of attractive, seductive fruit…” So in the end we will all have to ask ourselves how well did we really enjoy our loved ones while they were still with us?

Although we’re drawn to the grandiose experiences and things in life, it’s the small things and moments that sometimes mean the most. Just as atoms are the building blocks of matter, and cells are the building blocks of the body, present moments are the building blocks of life. These present moments are the pixels that make up the larger picture of life, they mentally tattooed themselves upon our minds so that we can retrieve and relive them in the form of memories that we’ve shared with our loved ones. But sometimes the fast pace culture of modern life prevent us from creating these memorable moments and leave us with lost moments that we never get to share with those who we love because we were too busy chasing after the replaceable in life and given inanimated gadgets more time than they actually deserved. And there are also the moments that riddle our lives with regrets, moments that haunted our memory and we wish never had happened. Moments of hurt when we weren’t there to comfort and show care to our loved ones, moments when the anger of silence cheated us from meaningful conversations with them; and heated moments in which we hurled hurtful words at them that we didn’t mean but once spoken they’re etched in their memory forever. There will come a point in our lives when the memory of the moments that we had shared with loved ones will be the most important things we will have left of them and for some of us they may be all we have left to remind us of them. So being that we cannot get back lost moments with loved ones, we should use every moment that we spend with them as a canvas to paint lasting memories of our love and appreciation for them.  

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