Soul mate: in the quest for the one.

The idea of a soul mate has caused many of us to put our life on hold waiting for this uniquely special person that life has set aside for only us. But love is not a jigsaw puzzle that is one missing piece away from being complete; love is more like a valley that lies in between the mountains of heartbreaks and the hills of broken promises that we have to overcome twice, thrice, and sometimes even more before we are able to embrace the realness of love. We’ve become so fascinated with the idea of a soul mate that we oftentimes find ourselves holding on to a love that has long past its expiration date. We’ve convinced … deceived ourselves into believing that our emotional judgment is sufficient in determining the person that life has ordained to be our soul mate; yet the world is full of ex-lovers, ex-spouses, and ex soul mates that were once considered to be the one. Some of us are still carrying around emotional wounds and ruins that our exes had Left behind and we use them as emotional walls to prevent us from being wounded by love again. And sometimes the right person enters into our lives while we are still healing from our emotional wounds and dealing with the unsavory taste of artificial love.

The problems we have in our relationship don’t always lie with those who we love, but rather with how we love; we have been caught up in the Shakespearean type of love that leads us to love only with our emotions. We have denatured love by divorcing it from its mental aspect, while in love we tend to think with our emotions which cheat us from thoughtful reasoning. Love becomes an internal flame that consumes us if it is devoid of thoughtful reasoning; the mental and emotional aspects of love were originally weaved together as one reality. But unfortunately, we live in a culture that over-invested in the emotional aspect of love which leads us to experience an unhealthy and imbalanced kind of love and leaves us susceptible to be emotionally wounded. We worship love as if it’s infallible so immerse, submit and surrender ourselves to it and we allow our insignificant other to love us the way he or she wants to love us, but not the way we want and need to be love. Even when we do find the person that we consider to be the one, we should always reserve some of our love for ourselves; because if this person doesn’t turn out to be the one, we’re going to need this self-love to deal with the emotional ruins that he or she may leave behind. Sometimes we find ourselves in love with someone before we find ourselves in life and this tends to put us in a situation where we’re in a committed relationship with someone that cannot match our growth in life and is not aligned with our destiny. While on our journey in life, we will fall in and out of love with different people in different phases of our lives. Some of us will fall in love with people who are only part of the sceneries on our way to our destiny; and though we will earnestly try to hold on to them, the force of destiny will pull us apart and lead us into the next phase of our lives. But in the end, the person who we are now in a relationship with may become the one if we teach him or her how we want and need to be love. 

Do you think that it is possible to teach someone how to become our soul mate?

Please be free to leave your comments in regard to this question.